Interestingly enough, I have just finished the Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages book – Such a meaningful work that I can’t help but put down something right after. I don’t know where to start.
Hmm… something about love, saying, What is Love or more exactly, What are the Love languages?
From the book and from my life experience, “LOVE” can be presented in 7 ways – both verbally and nonverbally!
Languages of Love
Say, “I Love You”
If you love someone to your heart, do not be afraid to say you love them.
It is hard, sometimes. We are close to the three words but fail to speak it out loud, for some silly reasons.
However, I always encourage myself and others to say “I love you” whenever you have a chance. And, once you say it one time, you can say it another time. These three simple words can really cheer us and our family up.
And how sweet to receive the same!
Nonetheless, “I love you” is a sacred phrase that should be always treated with respect. Do not say it if you are not meaning to it. Maybe your partner or friends know the truth too and get hurt!
If you still think about “love” being hard to convey, why don’t you use other pieces of similar words?
I mean the words of affirmation language, such as spoken affection, compliments or appreciation. It is not about fishing for cliché praises, yet to what you think as highly of your partner as he/she does.
Simply put, I really appreciate it, even when my husband does not say he loves me to the moon and the back, but when he says “Honey, the dinner is delicious!”
That is an example of words of affirmation in love!
Acts of service
You know it right?
Most of the time, acts of service takes time and physical efforts. Like Mr. Gary said “They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.”
In other words, acts can speak louder than words.
It is better to perform acts of services by surprise, rather than with request. A cup of hot chocolate in the cold morning and on the working desk, for example.
Give and take gifts
Honestly, who doesn’t like gifts?
Even when one says that they need nothing and you are their biggest gift, a physical Giftwrap is still meaningful. It will, for sure, put a smile on your partner’s lips no matter how much it really costs.
The right gift does not do a service to the relationship. Instead, it shows how you do care and understand them. Thus, it is a love language.
Even better, some gifts like flowers have a true love meaning. For instance, red roses are an unmistakable expression of deep emotions (love, respect, devotion, etc.) The number also matters. 12 red roses convey “I love you” or “Be mine.”
Be together in quality time
The quality time is moments you and your partner, and your loved family share together to grow and enhance your relationship. At that time, you pay undivided attention to each other, focusing on them and making them feel special and loved.
Sadly, this love language is hard to be spoken properly nowadays – mostly because of technology.
I remembered the time when my husband spent too much time on his phone and tablet that I felt like being almost all forgotten. That he loved “the phone” rather than me and our children. It was a stressful time! Fortunately, he finally found my annoyance and made it up by sharing “quality time” with me to chat and simply sat together for a coffee.
Now, he tries to turn off the phone and put down the tablet whenever possible. Instead, he spends time doing acts of services to the family members. In return, I and my kids also try to share time with him.
Also, we travel together on weekends and holidays.
Thus, I really think every couple should share frequent quality time together as a way of showing love and care.
Give physical touch
The emotional power of physical touch is undoubted.
In love, the language of physical touch is usually all related to holding hands, kissing, embracing, sexual intercourse, and more. Sometimes, physical touch is just about being safe and seen rather than to intimacy or being in the mood for physical affection. More specifically, physical touch is mostly depending on timing and the stage of a relationship.
When you “speak” the physical touch love language, you should – from my experience, always respect your partner. If she or he refuses to any further touch, then get a comfortable distance. Or, if you are planning for any physical affection, seek the approval or indicator first.
Yet, do not be too shy!
You also want to know >>> What does it mean when a girl touches you frequently?
Last but not least, love is a spiritual relationship.
And if you fail to discover spirit letdown from your partner and find ways to raise him/her up, then you are not speaking the love languages properly.
In fact, spirit rise is the combination of all love languages above.
For specific situations, you can simply encourage your partner by sitting next to him/her for a while, saying three simple words “I love you” or touching on his/her hands or shoulder.
Also, do not forget to give words of affirmation, help with acts of services, or prepare a small gift!
Do Not Dare to Express Love!
Life is short and we only live once.
Hence, try to show your love to cherished people like your family, partner, and friends. If it is too hard for you to say it directly, we have still one way or another. Feel free to refer to 7 love languages I shared all above.
If you know other means to convey love effectively, also share with me in return. Thanks so much.
I share to be shared!